Imagine a biblical horror film starring Nicolas Cage as Joseph, where Jesus engages in a fistfight with Satan, and yet somehow, the result is utterly unremarkable. That’s the baffling reality of The Carpenter’s Son, a film that manages to turn one of the most intriguing religious narratives into a snooze-fest. Based on the obscure and heretical Infancy Gospel of Thomas, this movie attempts to explore the untold stories of Jesus Christ’s childhood—a concept ripe with potential for both awe and controversy. But instead of delivering a gripping tale, it stumbles into a bland, genre-confused mess that leaves audiences wondering what could have been.
The Bible is no stranger to cinematic drama, from epic battles and star-crossed romances to bizarre moments like talking donkeys and vengeful she-bears. If the canonical scriptures are this vivid, the apocryphal texts must be even wilder, right? The Carpenter’s Son suggests otherwise. Despite its bold premise—a young Jesus (Noah Jupe) grappling with his divine powers while his parents (Cage and FKA Twigs) try to shield him from the world—the film fails to ignite. It’s a paradox: how does a story about the Messiah’s coming-of-age, complete with supernatural elements and moral dilemmas, end up so lifeless?
Written and directed by Lotfy Nathan (12 O’Clock Boys), the film focuses on Jesus’ first temptation and his struggle to understand his powers. His parents, a stern Joseph and a miscast Mary, keep him isolated, fearing the attention his abilities might attract. But here’s where it gets controversial: is shielding Jesus from his destiny truly the best way to prepare him for his divine mission? Or does this approach only delay the inevitable, leaving him unprepared for the trials ahead? The film’s portrayal of restrictive parenting feels all too familiar, yet it fails to add depth to the narrative.
Straddling the line between horror and drama, The Carpenter’s Son never commits to either. It dabbles in gruesome biblical suffering—infected wounds, bloody torture, and lepers—but these elements feel more comical than chilling. Peasants snarl, babies burn, and Satanic zombies lurch, yet the film lacks the suspense to qualify as horror. Instead, Nathan retreats to bland family drama: parental debates, attempts to stay under the radar, and Jesus’ awkward exploration of his powers. This tonal muddle leaves the audience adrift, unsure whether to take the film seriously or laugh at its absurdity.
The performances suffer as a result. Jupe oscillates between playing a naive boy and an all-powerful savior, his confidence as inconsistent as the film’s tone. Cage delivers his usual over-the-top theatrics, sobbing and screaming with the same intensity he brings to his B-movie roles, while FKA Twigs relies on a blank, model-like stare that feels out of place. The standout performance comes from Isla Johnston as an androgynous villager who tempts Jesus, but even her character lacks the menace needed to be a convincing antagonist.
And this is the part most people miss: the temptation itself is shallow and unconvincing. The villager’s whispered arguments are as empty as his parents’ warnings, yet Jesus is drawn to her simply because she acknowledges his powers. This dynamic feels forced, overshadowed by the film’s hypersensitive sound design and dull, gray-brown palette. Even its glimpses of Hell are underwhelming, resembling a muddy, CGI mess rather than a terrifying vision of eternal suffering.
The Carpenter’s Son lacks the bloody intensity of Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, the contemplative depth of Martin Scorsese’s work, or even the campy charm of bargain-bin religious epics. Like the gospel it’s based on, it risks being buried and forgotten—a missed opportunity to explore a religious icon in a truly unique way. Yes, Jesus punches Satan, but even that moment feels anticlimactic.
Is this the Jesus story we deserve, or the one we’re stuck with? Let’s debate in the comments. Do you think the film’s bland execution undermines its bold premise, or is there something here worth salvaging? Share your thoughts—agree or disagree, I want to hear them.
