Everyone Says I'm Running Away (2024)

Everyone Says I'm Running Away (1)
Last Updated: 3/12/2022 (Added links)
Original Post: 10/19/2009

My dad always asks what I’m running away from with my travels. A commenter told me to stop running away from my problems and to start living life. “Grow up,” he said.

And, years ago, there was a blog called “Mom says I’m running away.”

I’m not sure why, but there is this perception out there that anyone who travels long term and isn’t interested in settling down or getting a conventional job must be running away from something.
They are just trying to “escape life.”

They are running away from responsibility, being a grown-up, heartache, problems, etc, etc.

Long-term travelers are all just Peter Pans refusing to be “adults.”

While society thinks traveling is something everyone should do at one point, it’s only gap years after college or short vacations that are acceptable. Get it out of your system and come back into the Matrix.

Those of us who lead nomadic lifestyles, or who linger just a bit too long somewhere before reaching that final homestretch, are all too often accused of running away.

Yes, go travel — but just not for too long the world says. Responsible people don’t just travel forever.

We nomads must have awful, miserable lives, or are weird, or have had something traumatic happen to us that we are trying to escape. People assume that we are simply running away from our problems, running away from “the real world.”

To all those people, I say – you are right.

I am running away.

I’m running away from your idea of the “real” world.

I’m avoiding your life.

Instead, I’m running towards everything — towards the world, exotic places, new people, different cultures, and my own idea of freedom.

While there may be exceptions (as there are with everything), most people who become nomads do so because they want to experience the world, not escape problems. We are running away from office life, commutes, and weekend errands, and the corporate 9 to 5. We’re running away from the strict path society has laid out as “normal.” The one that makes us mindless ants marching to and fro.

We (I) want to experience every culture, see every mountain, eat weird food, attend crazy festivals, meet new people, and enjoy different holidays around the world.

Life is short and we only get to live it once. I want to look back and say I did exciting things and lived life on my own terms, not say I spent my life reading blogs like this during my lunch break while wishing I was doing the same thing.

No one dies going “If only I had spent more time in the office!”

As an American, my perspective might be different. In my country, the accepted path is long and narrow: you go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house, have your 2.5 children, raise them, and then retire. Only then, after you’ve put in your time, can you enjoy the fruits of your labor. Society boxes you in and restricts your movements to their expectations.

And any deviation is considered abnormal and weird.

People may want to travel, tell you they envy what you do, and say they wish they could do the same thing. But they never do. Few people muster the courage to take the leap, no matter how much their heart pulls them. They are simply fascinated by a lifestyle so outside the norm.

While social media, the rise of digital nomading, and websites like this have made quitting your job to travel the world or teach English in Thailand a little more acceptable, the general attitude is still “follow the path if you want to be normal.”

Well, I don’t want to be normal.

I feel like the reason why people tell us we are running away is that they can’t fathom the fact that we broke the mold and are living outside the norm. To want to break all of society’s conventions, there simply must be something wrong with us.

Years ago, a book called “The Secret” came out. According to “The Secret,” if you just wish for and want something badly enough, you’ll get it. But the real secret to life is that you get what you want when you do what you want.

Life is what you make it out to be. Life is yours to create. We are all chained down by the burdens we place upon ourselves, whether they are bills, errands, or, like me, self-imposed blogging deadlines. If you really want something, you have to go after it.

People who travel the world aren’t running away from life. Just the opposite. Those that break the mold, explore the world, and live on their own terms are running toward true living, in my opinion. We have a degree of freedom a lot of people will never experience. We get to be the captains of our ships.

But it is a freedom we chose to have.

We looked around and said, “I want something different.”

And then we went for it.

It was that freedom and attitude I saw in travelers years ago in Thailand that inspired me to do lead the life I am now. I saw them break the mold and I thought to myself, “Why not me?”

I’m not running away.

No.

I, like so many others before, am just running towards my own idea of a normal life.

And I never plan to look back.

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight
Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner. It’s my favorite search engine because it searches websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation
You can book your hostel with Hostelworld. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance
Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

Want to Travel for Free?
Travel credit cards allow you to earn points that can be redeemed for free flights and accommodation — all without any extra spending. Check out my guide to picking the right card and my current favorites to get started and see the latest best deals.

Need Help Finding Activities for Your Trip?
Get Your Guide is a huge online marketplace where you can find cool walking tours, fun excursions, skip-the-line tickets, private guides, and more.

Ready to Book Your Trip?
Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel. I list all the ones I use when I travel. They are the best in class and you can’t go wrong using them on your trip.

Everyone Says I'm Running Away (2024)

FAQs

Why do I keep running away from everyone? ›

Feeling the desire to run away from everything and everyone can be a sign of emotional distress or burnout. While it's understandable to feel overwhelmed at times, it's important to find healthy ways to cope with these feelings and take care of yourself.

Is it normal to want to run away as an adult? ›

You might occasionally get the urge to run away, whether you're feeling threatened, fearful, apathetic, or another way. The urge to run can be normal, and it has a basis in the nervous system every human is born with. For many, the fight or flight response can be heightened, and the desire to flee may occur.

What are the signs of running away? ›

Behaviours to be aware of:
  • Threatening or talking about running away.
  • A change in your child's typical mood or behaviour (e.g., depressed, anxious, irritable, withdrawn, isolating themselves from family or friends)
  • Signs of self-harming behaviour such as cutting, substance use, and high risk sexual behaviours.

Is it ever OK to run away? ›

So, while running away may be legal, it's very rarely a good idea. You should think of running away as a last resort. If you really want to run away from home or from your parents or carers, you should talk to a trusted adult like a teacher or friend's parent. There are also professionals that can help.

Why do I suddenly distance myself from everyone? ›

Probably because you have been hurt, angered or mistreated by others. It's natural to want to run away and protect yourself from everyone because you feel like you can't trust anyone. Hang in there and give yourself time to heal and you won't feel the need to distance yourself from people.

Why am I always escaping? ›

Why Do People Seek Escapism? Any life change can lead to escapism, even if the change is positive. Life challenges and traumatic events can also lead to escapism. Feelings of sadness, fear, depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and lack of self-esteem can all increase the desire to escape.

What is the most common age to run away? ›

Many runaways are between the ages of 10-14, ages where they haven't learned to take care of themselves and lack the ability to find housing and other basic needs.

Why do I get the urge to leave? ›

This sudden urge to escape or run away feeling can precede, accompany, or follow an episode of nervousness, anxiety, fear, and elevated stress, or occur 'out of the blue' and for no apparent reason. This sudden urge to escape or run away feeling can range in intensity from slight, to moderate, to severe.

Why do avoidants run away? ›

The Avoidant person gets triggered by the Anxious person's need for reassurance of closeness and their highly activated emotional state and pulls away more.

Is running away a coping mechanism? ›

One type of coping strategy is to run away from problems in order to avoid them altogether.

What can I do instead of running away? ›

5 alternatives to running away
  1. Take a mini-break immediately. Free up the weekend or take a couple of days leave from work to calm your mind. ...
  2. Break your boredom. ...
  3. Change yourself. ...
  4. Is there a lesson in this? ...
  5. Check in with your values.

What is a high risk runaway? ›

Age – Runaways who are 13 and under are considered to be at a high risk of harm. Environment – A child who spent time in high-crime areas, who missed five days of school after running away or who had previously run away face a greater risk of harm.

What states is it illegal to run away? ›

There is no law that states a person under age eighteen running away from home is committing a crime. Minors who run away from home can be detained by police and returned to a legal guardian. In California, there is no legal consequence for a minor running away.

Is there a punishment for running away? ›

Running away is generally not a crime, but it is a status offense in some states. Regardless of whether a particular state recognizes running away as a status offense, police can always take runaways into custody. The options available to police include: returning them home.

How to leave home and never come back? ›

Try making your move as soon as you get to school in the morning, or as soon as everyone in your home leaves and you know they won't be coming back for a long time. When you do book it, make it snappy. The last thing you want is for anyone in the neighborhood to notice you leaving. Find a method of transportation.

Why do I always run people away? ›

Pushing people away is one way of avoiding intimacy. In fact, this avoidance can act as a defense mechanism for people afraid of getting hurt in relationships. This could be because a past relationship ended badly, perhaps with rejection or even bereavement.

Why do you keep running away? ›

At its core, running away is a means to escape our current world—a world that isn't serving us the way we desire. Maybe you feel stuck or bored and are craving a renewed sense of vigor.

How do I stop running away from everything? ›

By reflecting on our thoughts and feelings, taking responsibility, avoiding self-pity, looking for clues, and not letting fear govern us, we can overcome any challenge. Let's stop running away from our problems and start facing them today. Only then can we grow and achieve our goals.

Why do I stay away from everyone? ›

Why do I avoid people? You might avoid people that you know because you prefer your own company, you don't know how to make small talk, or you're scared of feeling vulnerable or exposed around others. Some people are also restricted by mood disorders, shyness, or previous negative experiences.

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